Father's Day Funny Quotes: 21 Sarcastic Sayings About The Wonders Of Being A Dad

Father’s Day is all about celebrating all the amazing things Dad has done for you in your life. This year, Father's Day will be on Sunday, June 18, and would be be best time to provide him with a laugh with hilarious and brutally honest quotes to make him feel understood. To start the celebrations on a funny note, we made a compilation of sayings that focus on the reality, and not so great parts of fatherhood in the most creative ways. Check them out!

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

“"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” – Ray Romano

Fathers Day It's always a good idea to put some humor in your Father's Day celebration with funny quotes and brutally honest sayings. Shutterstock/Guas

“You can tell what was the best year of your dad’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“There should be a children’s song 'If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.'” – Jim Gaffigan

“My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.” – Bob Odenkirk

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey

“Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” – Red Buttons

“We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.’” – Erma Bombeck

“"The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume.’” – Michael Showalter

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” – Dave Atell

“I gave my father $100 and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.” – Rita Rudner

“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.” – John Kinnear

“Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.” – Stewart Francis

“Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story!

Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions.

Four-year-old: Why?” – James Breakwell

“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” – Jon Stewart

“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.” – Robert Orben

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.” – Clarence Darrow

“To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.” – Ernest Hemingway

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Natalie Roterman
Natalie Roterman

Natalie (from Mexico) joined Latin Times back in 2014 and she is all about pop culture and entertainment. She also has a genetic love for food and traveling. Follow her and get the scoop on the biggest upcoming films and TV shows, plus interviews with your favorite stars that you won’t want to miss. When she’s not writing for Latin Times, she’s either filming her next episode of “El Show de Natalie,” at a movie theater, binge-watching a new TV series, or planning her next meal.

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