
Today is "Talk Like A Pirate Day," which is a "holiday" that has been running for more than a decade now, and encourages people all over the world to engage in pirate-speak. It all started when John Baur and Mark Summers were having a friendly match of racquetball and for reasons they claim they still don't understand, they started encouraging each other in pirate slang. Summers suspects one of them might have been reaching for a low shot that, by pure chance, might have come off the wall at an unusually high rate of speed, and strained something best left unstrained. "Arrr!" he might have said.
After realizing the game was more fun because of the pirate lingo, the two guys decided to dedicate a whole day for it, and came up with September 19 because it was Mark's ex-wife's birthday, and a date that didn't coincide with any other important holiday. For seven years they celebrated "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" on their own, with the help of Brian Rhodes who reminded them the event was coming up because he had it programmed into his computer's calendar and it would remind him a day before.
However, the date became known thanks to Dave Barry, the nationally syndicated columnist and Pulitzer Prize winning writer, when he became convinced of the great potential of such a holiday, and dedicated his column to it. After that, phrases like "Ahoy, matey!" and "Drink up, me hearties!" are encouraged, and the word "Arrrr!" is an absolute necessity every September 19. Nevertheless, those are only the basics, and we wanted to expand your pirate vocabulary with five phrases to get by on this day without sounding like an amateur pirate.
A lot of people "insult" their buddies to prove their friendship. It's important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. So calling your friends a "bilge rat" will make you sound superior, since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone because it literally means a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship.
You might say "Smartly, me lass," when sending the bar maid off for another round. Smartly means to do something quickly. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer. If you want to pick up a girl using pirate slang, always count with "Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?" We don't really need to explain that one. Now, for girls to hit on a man, especially if you are very straight forward and know what you want, "Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!" will be the perfect fit for you.
And for the ultimate insult, "lubber" is your best shot. This is the seaman's version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. Theoretically you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you're talking like a pirate on this special holiday! In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is always an insult.
There you have it. Your mini guide to sounding more pirate-like. Also, take advantage of your newfound knowledge at some businesses that are using the holiday as an excuse for promotions. Long John Silver is giving away free whitefish if you just say "Arrr!", and Krispy Kreme will dole out a donut to anyone yakking like a scoundrel on the high seas.
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