With her music career soaring high, it might seem that Ariana Grande does not have any reason at all to feel sad. But there was a time not too long ago when the singer was so depressed that she turned to alcohol to deal with her overwhelming emotions.

This happened late last year when Grande learned that her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller passed away due to drug overdose on Sept. 18, 2018. Although it was already four months since she broke up with Miller at that time, the “Thank U, Next” singer was nevertheless devastated of her former lover’s unexpected death.

For Grande, the fact that she was already into a relationship with comedian Pete Davidson somehow softened the blow. However, her relationship with Davidson soon started to fall apart, and they parted ways by October 2018.

Dealing with losing two of her loved ones was too much for the singer, and she candidly told Vogue that she turned to alcohol in order to cope. “If I’m completely honest, I don’t remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad,” Grande told the magazine in an interview.

Grande, who cried during the interview at one point, told the magazine that performing at the Coachella reminded her of Miller. She also explained why she reacted and had to respond on social media to the person “who accused her of being one of the causes of Miller’s troubles.”

According to the singer, it’s unfair for people to just comment on an issue even if they don’t know the whole story. “People don’t see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened,” Grande told Vogue. “They didn’t see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion,” she added.

“You have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship,” Grande explained her comment. “You have no idea so you’re not allowed to pull that card, because you don’t f**king know.”

Thankfully, Grande was able to pull herself together by channeling her negative emotions into creating music, which resulted in her “Thank U, Next” album. “I don’t really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board,” she narrated.

Ariana Grande US singer/songwriter Ariana Grande attends Billboard's 13th Annual Women In Music event at Pier 36 in New York City on on December 6, 2018. ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images