Note: this article uses the “eff word” many, many times.

Sex columnist Dan Savage has some advice that he delivers every Valentine’s Day: fuck first. That is, whatever you have planned with your significant other, have sex before you leave the house. Don’t build up expectations for a steamy sexual encounter after a long night out, when you’re both likely to be exhausted. Plus, as Savage tweeted in his 2014 Valentine’s Day address, “fucking first” can have significant logistical advantages.

Fuck first is one of my rules—and it’s not even a rule. It’s a suggestion. I encourage couples to fuck first on Valentine’s Day, wedding days, and anniversaries,” Savage wrote in a November article. “Fuck before that romantic meal or wedding reception because you’ll be too exhausted/full/drunk to fuck after.” Like much of Dan Savage’s soundest advice, #fuckfirst was born from reader letters who vented their romantic frustrations in his weekly column, Savage Love.

“I would get so many letters from disappointed people on Feb 15—they went out for a romantic meal, came home, and... no sex,” Savage said to the Latin Times via Twitter. “They thought it meant their partner wasn't into them. But after wine, a heavy meal, and dessert—partners were likely to be in food coma. So I started telling people to Fuck First on Valentine's Day. Fuck first, then go out to dinner.”

Dr. Ruth, another sex-advice columnist, echoed Savage's #fuckfirst philosophy on Twitter last Wednesday.

“But this advice applies to more than just Valentine’s Day,” Savage said. The #Fuckfirst advice applies to every other romantically pressured event, including weddings. Yes, Savage argues that everyone should have premarital sex, including, as mentioned above, on their wedding day. (He wrote about this idea in a recent rebuttal of Duggar family dating rules, entitled Should the Duggar Girls #FuckFirst?).

You can find more of Savage’s sage advice in his podcasts, weekly column, and perpetually relevant Twitter feed. He’ll also be appearing on CBS Sunday at 9am EST. We’re not sure what plans Savage has for Valentine’s Day, but we can guess what might precede them.

Dan Savage’s Tweet from last Valentine’s Day.

 

A #fuckfirst-tribute song.

A #fuckfirst-tribute pillow.